LASTING MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP

grandchildren. He told them, 'Life is like a terrible fight between two wolves.

One wolf is evil: he is fear, anger, envy, greed, arrogance, self-pity, resentment,

and deceit.

The other wolf is good: joy, serenity, humility, confidence, generosity, truth,

gentleness, and compassion. One of his grandchildren asked, 'Grandfather,

which wolf will win?' The elder looked him in the eye and replied, 'The one you

feed.' Although serious relationship problems need to be addressed, there are

It really doesn't matter if your spouse puts the toilet paper on 'right', you will be

much happier if you focus more on the good things about your relationship than

get mired down in the thick of thin things. Remember, an important word to use

sincerely and often is 'I'm sorry." Would your rather be 'right' or would you

rather be happy?

__________________________________________

dreams for a happy life together. Your relationship will be fulfilling as long as

you pay attention to what inspires those hopes and dreams. A weekly date night

will help strengthen and focus these hopes and dreams. Husbands want private

time with their wives - not just for sex, although that’s important--but also to do

activities together on their own. Then they can spend time on building and

reinforcing their relationship.

__________________________________________

is to plan activities with your spouse. It can be as simple as

cooking, gardening or being involved with any variety of

hobbies. It can be a more planned activity to attend a

museum, cultural or social event or involvement in family

activities.

Although you may not be a golf enthusiast, if your spouse

is, try it sometime for fun. It is important to have some

similar interests and also an appreciation for your spouse’s

favorite interests.

Even if you don't share that same interest, learn a little

about it so you can appreciate their enthusiasm. When a couple shares interests,

it keeps them involved with each other’s lives.

__________________________________________

activities. Your relationship will be benefited in many ways because when you

are happy there is a natural sex appeal about a happy person.

When you're living a full life with both peaceful and adventurous activities, your

spouse will want to spend more time with you. Some activities could include: a

community class to learn about kayaking, gourmet cooking, or drumming. Make

a list of places in your town or a nearby one that you’d like to visit.

Search the local newspaper for plays, concerts, new movies, museum exhibits,

neighborhood fairs and festivals, and new restaurants that are advertised.

Branch out, learn new skills, and broaden your world. Not only will this bring

more joy to your life, it will strengthen your relationship as you spend time

together in enjoyable activities.

__________________________________________

be a happy, peaceful person. This may require you to work on a few things

about yourself before you try and fix your relationship. Once you are stabilized,

it is much easier to work on stabilizing your troubled relationship.

__________________________________________

will happen to their troubled relationship rather than take steps to create a more

satisfying life and relationship.

Would your prefer to spend your time with someone

who is always miserable or unhappy, or with

someone who is doing interesting and fun things to

enjoy life? Enthusiasm and a sense of fun are

powerful aphrodisiacs that attract others like a

magnet.

__________________________________________

outside help for their relationships. They prefer

being able to figure something out on their own.

Men, by nature, are trained to be independent and

self-sufficient. They would rather learn from doing

than from discussing. So it may take a while to

strengthen a troubled relationship with your

husband.

__________________________________________

open mind when looking for solutions rather than work off of preconceived

notions on what you used to think you would do in that situation.

You may have said if your spouse ever had an affair you'd get a divorce.

However, every situation is different and there is no cookie cutter answer for

every case. Thus, it's important to look very carefully at the details of your

situation and any extenuating circumstances. You are in a better position to

make a decision when you consider all the facts.

__________________________________________

at being the perfect marriage partner. It's easy to criticize your spouse for not

being perfect while we ignore our own imperfections.

We need to focus on what we can do and give to our relationship rather than on

whether or not our spouse is putting forth an equal effort. As we have a balance

in our life between family, friends, work, sports, hobbies, recreation, and other

interests, we will be less likely to hyper focus on the imperfections of our spouse.

__________________________________________

relationship, take a step back to give them space, and then work on something

you can do to strengthen you both emotionally and physically.

These steps could include: working out, pampering yourself with a massage or

pedicure, walking or hiking, gaining support from close friends, listen to

uplifting tapes, read a book about some one who overcame a difficult time,

attend religious meetings at your church, temple, or mosque and consider

individual counseling.