10 SECRETS to IMPROVE

COMMUNICATION with YOUR SPOUSE

about your spouse when you've had a major disagreement. However, there is

something wrong with harboring those ill feelings to that point of harming your

relationship. Following those times of disagreement, help yourself to calm down

by reminding yourself of your spouses many positive traits and you'll be

surprised at how easily those loving feelings return.

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loved them, they would know their needs or wants without telling them. The

reality of any relationship is that the responsibility of knowing what is needed or

wanted rests upon each person to clearly communicate their needs. Thus, giving

feedback and insights into what you really want is a critical component of good

communication.

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expressing anger for fear that it will damage

relationships. However, if feelings are buried, they don't

go away, they just fester. It's critical to learn how to

disagree respectfully and without attacking your spouse.

If a safe environment is created for discussing feelings,

it's much easier for the reticent spouse to have the

courage to share from their heart and resolve any

conflict.

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want to be understood, just like woman want to be understood. They want and

need marriage, and are willing to learn a few new 'dance steps' if given the

opportunity. Just let them lead, occasionally.

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hurt, or angry, stress hormones will flood their body and this results in the

rational part of their brain shutting down.

When the irrational part of the brain takes over, that is not the time to try and

have meaningful discussions with your spouse. Angry people don't discuss,

they rant and rave.

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way your conversation is going, STOP and take a time out away from your

spouse. Go away for a short time (30-60 minutes) and coming back after both of

you have calmed down. While you're gone, review your behavior and figure out

how you can move from attacking or defending to discussing the problem.

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communication is letting go of your need to be right.

If you feel you need to win the argument or prove

your partner is wrong, then you are impeding the

opportunity for your conversation to have a win-win

result.

In the long run, does it really matter who is right?

Or is it more important to create an environment

where the opinions and ideas of both spouses are of

value? A wise religious leader once said, "Pride is

concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned

with what is right." It's not a matter of who is right; a

marriage partnership works together to humbly do

what is right.

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their point of view, even if you don't understand their point of view. Accepting

their viewpoint doesn't mean you agree with them, it only means that you are

willing to consider their point of view and try to understand what they are trying

to say. Trying to look through the eyes of another person helps bring

understanding.

your voice and your body language create messages as well. Try to be sensitive

to the other messages you are portraying with a calm or angry tone. Work on

explaining your point truthfully and calmly, and keep your body relaxed as well.

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respectfully and looking for creative solutions to the problems you face as a

couple and as parents will go a long way in creating a strong and enduring

marriage. If you expect to have a confrontation, you will. If you expect to

resolve a conflict with respect and love, you will.